Today, I woke up will multiple violation notifications on Facebook. Said I can no longer monetize my page. This is one of my main sources of income since I've been unemployed. 

Haaaaa. Will they take down the page? IDK. It took me 2 years to monetize, so wtf.

Haaaaa. I don't feel so much. It's not that I can feel angry. They own Facebook. They have all the right to restrict me. Well, whatever.

Life's really tough right now, but let's keep going.

hn. your pen's toilet

It's 4 minutes before 2AM. I am awake, browsing Aglio Olio Recipe. 

Know what, I don't usually cook, but I think I make pretty good pasta. But then, I don't remember ever eating a bad-tasting pasta, so maybe, I just have a pretty low standards for pasta since I love it so much.

I'm so having aglio olio for breakfast. But I also want sweet style spaghetti. Let's see which one will win. I hope I won't end up with instant pancit canton. I want real food.

Oh, wow! It's 2:02 AM now.

hn. your pen's toilet

Ikatlong araw ng taon.

Celebrated Christmas with just Mom and Dad, since Bro and his family went to celebrate in Cavite. It was all good.

New year, kompleto kami.

2019 was my best year ever, lalo na sa financial aspects. So to copy the result of 2019, nicheck ko kung paano ba kami nag celebrate then, and I tried to recreate it nung new year.

I was wearing black spaghetti strap top and green printed silk robe that year. This year, I wore spaghetti strap dress and the same robe, though, tokwa, ang init, so the robe was just resting on the sofa.

Tapos, sinulat ko rin yung mantra ko nung 2019 na nilagay ko sa wall namin. Same mantra, ni tweak lang ng onti.

Nagdagdag ako ng balloons, tas HNY banner, tas more balloons sa table. Naglagay din ako ng 2025 candle same sa ginawa namin ng 2019. Then when the clock hit 12:00, nagpatunog ako ng coins sa buong bahay while shouting "happy new year".

If tama ang alala ko, may work ako ng new year last year, so I probably just slept. This year, I went all out. It felt good, you know. Sabi nga sa nabasa ko, your physical state affects your mental state daw. Kaya siguro making happy posture and happy noise do help make you a little happier.

Nung matapos ang pag-iingay, Mom was like, "tapos, balik na naman tayo sa totoong buhay bukas".

Know what, I've been unemployed since February last year but never once did I miss giving Mom the usual 20,000 monthly na panggastos namin sa bahay. I also buy toiletries on top of that. I also treat them to meals at least once a month. I know we used to eat out weekly, back when I was still employed, but despite some changes, sa tingin ko, it wasn't all bad. I don't know what causes Mom to lose confidence sa finances namin, considering na I still give her the same amount.

It's heartbreaking, you know. I want to give Mom everything. Hindi ko sila na ipasyal sa abroad last year. So, I dont know.

Still, hindi naman siguro need magfocus sa drama and to consider myself a failure for that petty reason. Another year, another chance.

Grateful parin ako sa lahat ng meron. Kahit sa dun sa mga wala. I will still push forward and find a way to improve our lives. Kaya ko to. Kakayanin ko to.

One time, my 4 year old nephew entered the room while I was working on my YT channel. Akala nya nanonood lang ako ng YT so he was like "Nood ka lang ng Youtube, Tita? wala ka work?" So I told him, "mayaman na Tita, di na need mag work". Then he said, "nye, wala nga tayo peya" in his cute voice na mejo bulol, pero cute parin. He's the same as his sister. I remember the niece's reaction upon finding that I no longer work was somewhat similar.

Kaya ko to.

Brother managed to find a work a few months back, so unti unti, bumabangon na silang mag pamilya.

I'm trying to find job too. Pero sana wfh. I want to keep my business, and I want to be able to keep growing my monetized FB page. Nag send ako ng email sa job invitation kahapon. Ayun, walang response.

You know what, I can write an entire list of problems na hinaharap ko now. Promise, ang dami. Pero what for?

Sabi nila, FOCUS ON YOUR DREAMS. FOCUS ON YOUR BLESSINGS.

Alam mo ba, first time kong naka attend ng Christmas recital sa dati kong school. I attended my niece and nephew's recital, and we stayed until evening. Nung nag-aaral pa ko dun, hindi ako pinapayagan ng nanay ko na magpagabi to watch the programs, so ang saya lang to finally experience it this time around.

Also, usually, I spend Christmas and New Year working, pero this year, nasa bahay ako, at nagawa ko pang mag decorate for the occasion.

And then, I still have my parents. My family is still complete. I receive plenty of hugs and kisses from my niece and nephews, and I snuggle with my cats everyday. Sa totoo lang, feeling ko, kaya ko lahat, basta kompleto ang family ko.

When I checked my money in stock market, I still have some money.

I am grateful. I, afterall, have so much to be grateful for.

I know, 2025 is gonna be kinder and easier.

2025 is going to bring more blessings for me and my family.

2025 is going to be a wealthier, healthier, and happier year for me.

2025 is going to be my best year ever.

I am wishing the same for you, Tabby peeps.

hn. your pen's toilet

1:26AM. Nasira yung aircon. Ang init. I can't sleep. Bukas ko na iisipin ko paano kami bibili ng bago. A few days back, yung camera ng phone ko ayaw na gumana. Almost used up na rin ang memory, so... Haaaah.

Yung akala kong harmless copyright claim on my page led to 4 days of significantly low performance. I decided to delete the video. It wasn't earning that much anyway. Tokwa, I should've deleted it right when I received the claim. Exchanging visibility for miniscule shared revenue was far from worth it.

Sa February ang ika 7th month ng mga kittens. I need around 12k to have all of them spayed. 

2024 was hard. 2025 is going to be so much better. 

hn. your pen's toilet