So, I just realized na bilang nakatali ako sa Company no. 5 for a year, at forever WFH ang setup...

Tokwa, paano ko hahanap ng jowa???!!

Arrrgh. Lol.

hn. your pen's toilet

So, I signed the company's offer today.

Fully WFH. Salary is about 23k LOWER than my previous company, but I figured that since it's WFH, and I don't have to rent or eat outside all the time, buy new clothes, spend on travel fare, etc.-- same same lang rin.

I am bonded to them for 1 year. Malaki yung bayad if I terminate the contract. Tinanggap ko na. I also have another ongoing application offering 39K higher than this company, pero kasi, hindi pa naman sure. Tsaka fully onsite. I sure am tempted to eat out all the time, but I'll probably end up missing my cats and my family.

Will be having a meeting with the TA lead later. The work itself will start July 21. The other company starts earler. July 7. But then again, hindi pa nga sure yun, so...

I need money already. Pero malamang ang 1st salary ko e by end of August pa. Tokwa. I still have some money. Kasya pa naman. But as much as possible, I want to keep my MBT stocks in time for the issueance of dividends by August. Bahala na. May next time pa naman.

I will have time since it's WFH. Also, I have nearly 1 month of free time before going back to work. I need to find ways to earn passive income. Maybe I'll focus on expanding the earnings of my existing passive income sources namely, Facebooks and Prmptbase. I also need to have my 3 female cats spayed.

Dad's birthday on the 9th. He wants to go back to this unli restaurant kung saan tinreat sila ng family friend namin. It's super cheap. 200+ lang per head, may senior's discount pa. Kaya ko naman bayaran.

Ang mahal lang e yung kapon ng mga pusa. I nead over 10k for that. I just shelled out nearly 15K para sa payment ng tax namin sa bahay at lupa.

Di bale, konting tiis nalang at may stable income na ko. I need to focus on increasing my passive income. Stockmarket parin ang major source, pero syempre, I need more.

God, thank you for the blessings. Pengi po passive income na 300,000 pesos monthly.

hn. your pen's toilet

I faced the final boss today. Great timing kasi kagabi pa nag-aaburoto yung tiyan ko. Hindi rin ako masyadong nakatulog, so I can't really say that I was on my best shape kanina.

Pero okay naman. Nasagot ko naman. But in the end, hindi pa rin naman talaga sigurado kung matatanggap ako o hindi.

----

I have another interview tomorrow. Antamad nung HR. Isang bagsak na nag email tas sama sama na lahat ng applicant. Classified information kaya ang mga email addresses. Hindi nya manlang ginawang BCC. Nakakainis tuloy. I want to withdraw my application to this company, pero kasi, hindi naman sure kung matatanggap ako dun sa isa.

hn. your pen's toilet

Mom's birthday celebration today.

Mom's actual birthday and another celebration tomorrow. 

I have 2 interviews this coming week.

I just finished the first season of Kaiju no.8 and I'm excited for the upcoming season.

I just finished the recent episode of Apothecary Diaries and I'm excited for the next.

I'm finally able to have better sleep. Probably PMS is already over. At least for now.

I'm feeling so much better. TYG.

hn. your pen's toilet

Zero hour sleep. I "woke up" at 6AM. Konting execise. Linis. Fix bed. Tiklop ng damit. Breakfast. Feed cats.

Tried to start "working" around 10AM. Kaso antok na antok ko ako. So I slept. I woke up past 1PM. Had lunch. Fed cats. Linis. And started "working" again around 2PM.

Ah! That's it. I give up.

I started browsing job search engines again. Naaawa na kasi ako sa sarili ko. Pati sa nanay ko.

Tokwa. Sa totoo lang, wala naman ako masyadong nagawa sa business businessan na to. Sinunod ko lang yung schedule na binigay sakin ni ChatGPT. Ang hirap magpatuloy pag wala ka naman talagang passion sa ginagawa mo, tas kailangan ko pa ng pera.

Also, I have another reason...

Currently reading the BL Manhwa, "Dangerous Convenience Store". Hindi ko bet 100% yung seme, but I still found their love story heartwarming. Naisip ko lang na tuluyang walang mangyayari sa love life ko kung nandito lang ako sa bahay. 

Sabi nila, malalaman mo daw kung tama ang desisyon mo depende sa amount ng peace you feel out of that decision.

Hindi ko alam kung peace ba to. Maybe more like relief. I am, after all, relieving myself from all these uncertainty. Hindi ko rin naman ako kung makakahanap ako kaagad ng trabaho.

Pero change priority. Change plan. Ang hirap magfocus.

Focus. 

Tokwa, narealize ko lang na para sa taong may zero skill sa multitasking, I seem to have spread myself thin. Kahit mula nung bata ang dami kong ginawa—writing, reading, drawing, piano, ballet, anime. Tapos ngayon, engineering, Japanese language, business, public speaking, crochet, cacti and succulents, content creation, BL, AI, etc. Gusto ko pa nga sumali sa writing contest, pero pinigilan ko na yung sarili ko. I mean, I only have 24 hours a day, and just 1 body. Naalala ko yung yaya ni tatay dati nung nagjoke ako na mag-aartista na ko. She was like, "artista naman ngayon?"

Basta ang goal ko lang muna sa ngayon e to earn money at humanap ng boyfriend. 
I hope that things will get easier soon.

hn. your pen's toilet

So, I asked ChatGPT to arrange my schedule this week. It's the second day, and so far, sinunod ko lahat nung sinabi nya sakin, though hindi ko masyado nasusunod yung oras, nagawa ko naman lahat ng tasks.

Mag message daw ng 10 non-TM na kakilala ko para ipromote yung course ko-- done.

Mag email daw ng 20-30 contacts ko from TM to do the same--done din.

Nag post din ako ng course outline sa iba't ibang Facebook groups. May isa na ready to enroll na, kaso taga Malaysia sya, so ayun. Negs.

Nakakaba. Pero mejo nakaka excite din pag gumagawa ka ng bagay na hindi mo usually ginagawa. Sa totoo lang, natatakot ako.

Pero sabi nga ni ChatGPT, "this is not your side hustle, this is you MAJOR COMEBACK."

Pakers. Kaya ko tooo!!

Anyway, feel free to visit our FB page, or enrol kayo if gusto nyo matuto mag Nihongo. If you send a message there with "Hi Cinderella", I will give you 300 peso discount. *wink, wink*

Hello Nihongo PH

hn. your pen's toilet

The past few days were emotionally difficult. I was filled with fear and shame, and heck, I couldn't even blame anyone for it, because I knew it was my own doing.

I admit my mistake. I am forgiving myself. I am moving on.

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Kahapon, I accompanied Mom to attend to Kuya Jerry's wake in La Loma. The travel was about 3 hours, one-way.

When we got there, Mom's "Tiya" welcomed her with a warm hug. That tiya was her late Tiyo's ex-wife. Like Kuya Jerry, "Tiyo", his late father, also had wives. Mom worked for them as helper and yaya when Kuya Jerry and his siblings were very young. Mom was around 17, and I was born over a decade later. The "kids" (kuya Jerry's siblings) seem to love and respect Mom. Kuya Jerry was 50 and he was middle child. Their youngest sibling is about the age of my brother (41). I think about 1 year older.

When I was younger, we often met at family gatherings. I remember Kuya Jerry often said, "ay, ito yung paborito ko, matalino to e", whenever he saw me. Kahapon, when we were preparing to leave the house, I wasn't thrilled at the thought of having to interact with relatives, and then resolved to thinking na, "ah, makikipag kwentuhan nalang ako kay Kuya Jerry," only to remember na sya nga pala yung namatay.

When we were already settled sa wake chapel, and Mom and Tiya were already chatting, I heard an audible "plop" sound. Then I found that a single flower fell from the funeral wreath. Wala namang hangin dun. Walang gumalaw nung flower arrangement. Ni wala ngang tao near the area. Kusa lang syang nalaglag on its own. It must be a coincident, sure, but I couldn't help but think na, "aba, Kuya, may pa flower ka pa." Coincident or not, I took it as Kuya Jerry's pleasant greeting, and a loving farewell.

Nung pauwi na kami, it was only then that Mom decided to check the coffin. Tapos, pinilit ako ni Tiya to look too, even after Mom told her that I was scared of corpses. She convinced me na hindi naman daw nakakatakot at "parang natutulog lang". Of course, I wasn't convinced. But she treated Mom kindly, I didn't want to embarrass someone as nice as her, so tumingin na ko.

Kagabi, kahit antok na antok na ko, I was so scared of sleeping. I beg God to prevent me from seeing Kuya Jerry on my dream. I mean, I also saw Tita E, a week after she died sa panaginip ko. Though that dream was pleasant, I don't think I enjoy seeing dead relatives on my dreams. I even told Kuya Jerry, "wag ka po magpakita ha." 

I only managed to sleep past 2AM. Thankfully, no dreams of Kuya Jerry on it.

50. I know he could've done so much more. But I also believe that he managed to live a good life. I think reaching 50 is already an achievement considering na 7 year old palang sya e may sakit na sya sa puso. I pray that God will give Kuya Jerry His mercy and forgiveness. May Kuya Jerry rest in peace in the arms of Lord. Kung totoong may langit, sana nasa langit sya.

hn. your pen's toilet